Mammamel
10-01-2008, 09:05 PM
I am depressed, but I am saved also. My trouble is my DH is saved but does not do what is required from a husband. For 10 years he has been talking about doing everything for the Lord, but his actions do not correlate with his words. The man is supposed to be the leader AND provider of his family. Yet, his job situation does not provide adequately for my family of six. The bills barely get paid, and my growing children are often hungry. We can't afford doctor or dental visits so I have to try to diagnose the children myself and make homemade cures if they are afflicted with something. I pray to be relieved of financial stress...to have the ability to feed, cloth, buy shoes and take care of them medically without feeling I am "splurging" to cover their basic needs. Ten years is a LONG time to wait for my husband to provide this. He is talented in many areas and could get a steady job that would ease our money issues, but I am beginning to wonder if he is just too selfish. So, while sit and I pray for deliverance from my husband's apathetic interpretations of his Christian duties I am making a sparse lunch for my 4 children as he is eating out at Taco Bell. Depressed? YES!
Sandi
This post was put on another blog. The blog owner is considered a Christian teacher. Yet she assumed facts not in evidence and answered with a right hook that would have taken out Mike Tyson.
So here is my answer to Sandi.
Sandi, there are many causes for depression. Some depression is medical, some emotional. Some we bring on ourselves, while sometimes we can not change our situation on our own.
You say you are depressed. You also say you are a Christian. My advice first and foremost is, call your church office and ask for an elder or minister’s wife to speak with. Many folks think it is just the elder or minister that has a function in the church. This is NOT true. Their wives have a function also, which is to minister to the women of the congregation. Explain to her, without damaging your husband’s name what you have told us. Ask for counsel to make sure YOU are the best you can be. We can not affect change until WE are truly what Christ says we need to be.
Now you do not say what skills you possess. If you do not know scratch cooking, or sewing, these are skills you need as a homemaker.
Now as to your children, actually they are probably better off if you don’t take them to the doctor for every thing. Big stuff yes, broken arms, fevers that last longer than a week and so on. General colds, and such, no.
One way to get clothes and shoes is to ask on freecycle. This is not charity, because as your kids out grow things, you can offer them to others. You can get many items and give many as well. Even if you do not have a home pc, you can use the library one for this yahoo group.
You do not say the ages of your children or whether or not they are in school. If they are not, perhaps babysitting would help bring in some extra income. Just one child a week could provide enough cash for groceries, once you know how to cook from scratch.
Please note, I am NOT trying to excuse your husband’s lack of leadership. However, your job is not to worry about his job, but to learn to do your job so well, that you can stretch any amount of money he gives you for food to feed your family. Beans and potatoes are great, so are rice and carrots, once you have the skills to use them, and the cash to get them with.
My job is to help you, not correct your husband. The pastor or elders of your church need to work with him on that. Your first call, right now needs to be your pastor’s wife or an elder’s wife. Yes dear 10 years is a long time to live like this. However, God has given you the ability to learn the skills to take nothing and make something. It is not to late to change.
Now how will this help the issues you have with your dh? God tells us that our husbands can be won (changed, convicted) by the quiet, chaste behavior of their wives. So YOU can effect change in your husband with out even saying a word.
I know I have not tossed any scripture at you. If you wish them just drop a post and I will supply them. However I felt you needed some sound, been there done that you can do it too advice first.
My prayers are with you and your family.
Sandi
This post was put on another blog. The blog owner is considered a Christian teacher. Yet she assumed facts not in evidence and answered with a right hook that would have taken out Mike Tyson.
So here is my answer to Sandi.
Sandi, there are many causes for depression. Some depression is medical, some emotional. Some we bring on ourselves, while sometimes we can not change our situation on our own.
You say you are depressed. You also say you are a Christian. My advice first and foremost is, call your church office and ask for an elder or minister’s wife to speak with. Many folks think it is just the elder or minister that has a function in the church. This is NOT true. Their wives have a function also, which is to minister to the women of the congregation. Explain to her, without damaging your husband’s name what you have told us. Ask for counsel to make sure YOU are the best you can be. We can not affect change until WE are truly what Christ says we need to be.
Now you do not say what skills you possess. If you do not know scratch cooking, or sewing, these are skills you need as a homemaker.
Now as to your children, actually they are probably better off if you don’t take them to the doctor for every thing. Big stuff yes, broken arms, fevers that last longer than a week and so on. General colds, and such, no.
One way to get clothes and shoes is to ask on freecycle. This is not charity, because as your kids out grow things, you can offer them to others. You can get many items and give many as well. Even if you do not have a home pc, you can use the library one for this yahoo group.
You do not say the ages of your children or whether or not they are in school. If they are not, perhaps babysitting would help bring in some extra income. Just one child a week could provide enough cash for groceries, once you know how to cook from scratch.
Please note, I am NOT trying to excuse your husband’s lack of leadership. However, your job is not to worry about his job, but to learn to do your job so well, that you can stretch any amount of money he gives you for food to feed your family. Beans and potatoes are great, so are rice and carrots, once you have the skills to use them, and the cash to get them with.
My job is to help you, not correct your husband. The pastor or elders of your church need to work with him on that. Your first call, right now needs to be your pastor’s wife or an elder’s wife. Yes dear 10 years is a long time to live like this. However, God has given you the ability to learn the skills to take nothing and make something. It is not to late to change.
Now how will this help the issues you have with your dh? God tells us that our husbands can be won (changed, convicted) by the quiet, chaste behavior of their wives. So YOU can effect change in your husband with out even saying a word.
I know I have not tossed any scripture at you. If you wish them just drop a post and I will supply them. However I felt you needed some sound, been there done that you can do it too advice first.
My prayers are with you and your family.